When God Says "No"

In modern day society we are told that if we work hard enough for a goal, we are sure to accomplish our goal. I see this thought process showing up all time with running. One must work hard to run a good race. Often I see posts on social media about a person trying to run a certain time in her goal race.  The person posts on social media that she has this set goal, maybe she posts many of her set training runs. Everyone cheers her on and says, “Yes, of course you will accomplish your goal.”  “You are great.” “You are so talented.” It’s all about what you can accomplish. Encouragement is good and much needed in our cynical world.  But what happens when you work hard and you don’t accomplish your goals? You’ve done everything right, and it’s not enough. The praise fades, or we are given dashes of hope for next time.

Accomplishing goals is empowering and a positive aspect of life. However, sometimes God says no. This blog is about what happens when God says no. I felt compelled to write this blog for all the people who have heard no, yet need the same encouragement people get who accomplish their goals. Maybe your goal wasn’t one based on working hard, but just something you really thought would happen in your life. This is for you too.

Let me tell you about my running injury. Last Spring I decided I would try to run one more fast marathon.  I had my youngest child weaned from breastfeeding and she was sleeping. I felt human again. The timing was right. I had my husband’s support, I was feeling the itch to run fast again, and I had figured out a way to carve out a little time for training. I wrote a blog about how I had some unresolved issues with running and how I was going to run fast one more time to resolve these issues.  Notice, it was about me, not God. I had already met my goal times earlier in life but I ended my fast running in a tough season in life. Now I was going to end my fast running journey in a happy season of life, on my terms. My thinking was surely God wanted me to use the talents He had given to me. I figured I’d wait a month or so to publish that blog. In that time, I hurt my Achilles tendon. Fast forward to almost a year later and my Achilles tendon is still hurt.  Training ceased. Not only did I not run a marathon, but I can barely run at all.  Today, I’m not even concerned about running fast, I just wish I could do a long run.

I do not believe that Christians should just sit on their hands waiting for a miracle to drop out of the sky. I made efforts to fix my Achilles. I rested, I cross-trained, I tried to ice, stretched, strengthened, and heated my Achilles. I went to a very good Dr and sought out Chiropractor care for my Achilles. The latter helped the most and helped me manage the pain but at the end of the day I’m still hurt.

To me, my inability to run is God saying “no, not right now.” I don’t know if this answer is no forever or no for this season. However, I do know that, while it’s painfully hard not to run, scripture gives us a basis for this situation. Many times in the Bible we see God shutting a door for a season such as when Sarah and Abraham couldn’t have a baby and God gave them a baby when they were advanced in age. Another example in Genesis occurred when Sarah asked Abraham to send Hagar (her slave girl) and Ishmael (Hagar and Abraham’s son) away. God protected Hagar and Ishmael and still promised to make them a great nation, despite Sarah’s plan to just push them out of the way.  Other times we see God just shutting doors without us knowing the reason. For example, the book of Job is full of God saying no. Job suffered tremendously, and yet, he didn’t turn away from God. Job didn’t understand his misfortune, yet he didn’t curse God.

Either way, whether the door is shut forever or for a season, I’m constantly looking for what God has for me to learn from a shut door. Sometimes we simply don’t know why a door is shut.

I’m not entirely sure why the running door is shut. I just know God clearly shut that door for now. I could speculate all day, maybe God wanted to send me in another direction? Maybe God was preparing me for other large changes that came this summer? Maybe God simply wanted to remind me that he was in control and to turn my eyes toward Him? I simply don’t know. I am reminded of the Lord’s Prayer though where we say “Thy will be done," not mine. 

If you are reading this post, and you are a Christian, my hope is to encourage you. My shut door was running fast, maybe yours is something bigger. Either way, I encourage you not to lose hope in God. I won’t give you canned Christian answers like just trust God and go on. Instead I encourage you to dig deeper. Yes, trust God, but examine why it’s so hard for you to have the door closed. Journal about your pain, dashed hopes, or new dreams. Hold on to hope in God. God can take it all. Talk to him. Cling close to Him. Pray for direction. God won’t leave you. He sees you and your hopes.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give a future and a hope” (Hold Bible, ESV).

If you aren’t a Christian, here’s some food for thought. You may be reading this and think, I really don’t believe God orchestrates things. I’m not going to spend this blog trying to convince you He does, but I will say, just think about this: what would be it be like to dream of a God who created the world, knows every hair on your head, and has a plan? 

Whichever camp you are in, don’t give up hope. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss when a door is shut or a path is turned in a different direction. I plan to keep going to the chiropractor for my foot.  I plan to process how I feel. I've written countless times in my journal how much I miss running. I miss the feel of getting up my heart rate while catching up with friends. I just miss the simple act of a long run. Jesus himself often expressed emotion. He expressed sadness and disappointment too. Journal and seek out trusted people to talk to about your shut door.  Know that I too am in your camp, I miss running, but I’m clinging to God with my Bible and journal in hand. This post is for all of you in the same boat as me. I see you. God sees you and he cares about every one of your goals, those you accomplish and those that don’t come to fruition. A good friend often tells me “God is in charge of the results, you are just responsible for acting on the things He put on your heart.”

Post Race Doldrums

My caveat to this blog entry: I hesitated to write a blog entry on this topic, but I am writing this entry for three main reasons. First, to help those who may have experiences a down time post marathon, second, to help others understand what some runners may experience post marathon, and third, as a thank you and explanation to all those who have been around me for the last month.

About a month ago, I ran a marathon. A marathon that was a big deal to me, and the race didn’t go my way. I processed the race, and was ready to move on. I made goals for the future, and expected to start training without any problems after a few weeks break. Things didn’t turn out as planned. I just could not seem to recover. My recovery felt like it was taking forever. I started to wonder, and probably fear, that I would never recover.

As my recovery took longer and I spent more time away from running, my mood took a turn for the worst. I was depressed, anxious, and sleep deprived. I am not going to put all the details on my blog, but I cried often, without warning or a compelling reason. I could pull it together for short periods of time, but even that was tough. I thought I was loosing it. I tried to keep myself distracted when I had to function in public settings. I couldn’t sleep very well. My productivity decreased. I felt like a burden to those who had to endure all my crying. I was a mess.

I tried to analysis my sadness and determine if I was sad because I could not run or if I was sad about different stresses in life. Running is a sacred time to me, and a major part of my daily life. I missed running with the girls in the park. Furthermore, running lets me get out my stress and gives me a social outlet to connect with my friends. I leave my stress in Golden Gate Park or on the track. Running just helps me process everyday life.

As I started to run more, something wonderful happened. My mood changed and I became happier. I started to smile again. I stared to hear joy in my voice. My old self was coming back and I was so thankful. I am now completely back to my "normal" mood. I still have stresses in life, but I can manage them. I can cope with life. I knew that people release endorphins during exercise, but I wanted to know more about the psychological affects of recovering from a marathon and not running.

Many of you may be thinking, “all this after a few weeks of not running?” My answer to that is “yes” and after doing some research I found evidence that regular runners taking time off from running can affect a person’s mood. Through doing a little research, I learned that I was not alone, and many other runners experienced some of the same affects. The endorphins (and other chemical released when I run) have a very real, and large impact on my mood. Here’s a summary of some of the research I found:

A research study done in 1990 and published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research studied men ages 18-52 years old that are regular runners. The study found that those who were deprived of running (the experiment group) “subjective physical state, sleep, and feelings of being able to cope deteriorated within 1 wk; levels of anxiety and depression increased during the 2nd wk.” Once this group started running again, they returned to normal.

Other journal articles I read found that exercise helps treat depression and has a positive affect on mood. One study published in Chinese Mental Health Journal (April, 2007) studied rats to test “the effect of low and moderate exercise on plasma β-EP and corticosterone in rats after mental stress.” This study found that “Low and medium exercise can bring down the stress reaction and protect the neuroendocrine function under mental stress.” Running publication also talk about the runner’s high. Runner’s World wrote a great article about the topic in June 2004 and discussed a runner’s personal experience with a runner’s high and the scientific side of the runner’s high (http://bit.ly/zEK0U9).

I am still looking for additional studies on this topic and hope to find some more specific studies that look at female runners and the effects of taking time off for an injury or recovery. If any of have information on this topic, please send it my way. I'd love to get a conversation started about this topic within the running community. Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Feel free to leave a comment or send me an email.

Overall, I learned runners can have a strong reaction to time off from running. Recovery is important, especially after a marathon, and should be taken. Everyone handles recovery differently. Some runners do not experience sadness at all, and some experience a milder form. For people like me who may have a strong reaction to recovery times, I just need to be aware of my body reacts and realize this too will pass. I also now have a more proactive plan about how to manage the psychological affects during recovery. (That topic will have to wait until another blog entry.)

I know that running will not take away my problems, nor will be cure it all my anxious thoughts, but I do hope running will help me to process life and more effectively cope with the daily stresses of life. I end this with a thank you to all those in my support system. Thank you to those who checked on me to see how I was doing, gave me hugs, just let me talk, prayed for me, reminded me to take this in stride, and cooked me dinner. You were a tremendous help, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am sure I will go through periods where I cry again, but I hope to laugh more than cry, and reach out to ask for a hug during the happy and sad times.

Recovering from Disappointment and Dreaming Big

When runners have a bad race, they can let it get them off track or the bad race can propel them forward. I’m hoping to do the latter of the two. I ran in my first Olympic Trials Marathon this past Saturday. I went into the race with high hopes. I was fit and feeling good. My coach had developed a great plan to help me maintain my fitness level and recover in the 6 weeks between CIM (my qualifying marathon) and the Olympic Trials Marathon. I did my best to bond with the elliptical in between the two marathons and was thankful when my training schedule listed more running.

Then on race day at about mile 10, my worse nightmare in the marathon happened-- my digestive system shut down and I was unable to digest fluids or GU. Soon cramping followed, and slowly my body shut down. Before I knew it I was way off pace. Each mile I fell even further off pace. My hamstrings tightened first, then other muscles followed. My dreams of running well in the Olympic Trials went down the drain before the halfway point. I finished the race about 16 minutes behind my goal time. I am not going to sugarcoat this experience and say it was exciting or fun simply because it was the Olympic Trials. I am honored and humbled that I was able to run with such talented women but there is nothing fun about suffering through a race with a stomach that won’t digest anything. Fighting through the end of a race because I worked hard and my legs are tired is exhilarating, but fighting through digestive issues and cramping is just painful.

Now that the race ended and I am back home in San Francisco, I am working on recovering and trying not to go stir crazy while I do. After races that do not go according to plan, I have realized the importance of recovering both physically and mentally while also looking toward the future. I felt a sense of failure as I crossed the finish line and I felt like I let so many people down. I am hoping the disappointment adds a fuel to the fire to help me push further in my training. I texted a teammate for advice the day after the race. She acknowledged that it is hard when races go poorly, and reminded me to recover and look toward the future. Recovering from races such as this is hard, but is necessary if I want to succeed in the future.

As I look toward the future, I am reminded that I need to come up with measurable goals. The night after the race I sat down and listed all the times I want to run in every distance from the marathon down to the mile for the next four years. I am dreaming big about the future and have high hopes of running well in track season and another marathon later down the road. I am thankful to have an encouraging support network each step of the way.

Lastly, I am reminded to dream big. A few years back I wanted to run a sub three-hour marathon once in my life. Now, my dreams are much bigger. Being surrounded by so many talented runners in the bay area has helped me dream big. Furthermore, many people in the SF bay area are making sacrifices to go after dreams such as starting a company or running fast. To run my goal times, much work and sacrifice will be required, but I am ready for the hard work, and excited to look ahead. I’m keeping my head up and forging forward. One race at a time, I will move forward toward those goal times on my spreadsheet. Cheers to running well in 2012.

My first marathon: CIM

After having a few bad races in October, which left my running confidence in the dumps, I finally started racing better in November and December. In November I ran a huge PR in the 5K, and in December I ran my first marathon. I have always enjoyed racing well, but I realized that I appreciate good races even more when they come after a string of bad races.

California International Marathon (CIM) was my first marathon, and I had a great experience. I know that many people have a negative first marathon experiences, but having a good first marathon experience is very possible. I’m living proof.

Even though I believed in my training plan and had done the work I needed to do to prepare for the marathon, I started to panic a few weeks before CIM (and I really started to panic a few days before the race). I was ready and I knew deep down I was ready, but as I hit my taper weeks, and the starting line got closer, my emotions took over. My main fears centered on something happening in the race that was out of my control. For example, what if I have to go to the bathroom? Get a stomach ache? The list of fears seemed to grow in my head as the race neared closer. My fear of failure plagued me more each day. I started to worry, "What if I did all this training and do not run my goal time?" I was a mess the week prior to the race. Luckily my pre-race panic subsided the morning of the race. My nerves were still going in full force on race day, but my doubts that were distracting went away. I felt a sense of peace as I went into the race. I was very thankful for this sense of peace that came over me on race day.

CIM starts in Folsom, California and ends in Sacramento, California. Most people stay in Sacramento and take a bus provided by the marathon to starting line. (When I say most people take the bus, I mean thousands of people board a yellow school bus headed to the starting line). Our bus driver got lost getting to the starting line. Instead of panicking when I heard her say she was lost, I simply turned on my ipod and listened to Amazing Grace and Shout to the Lord a few times each. I took in the words of these songs as we rode the bus. We eventually arrived at the starting line. CIM had elite warming tents set up and I went and sat in one of them with a teammate until it was time to warm up.

The rest of the time until the warm up was non eventful. I warmed up, went to the bathroom, and headed to starting line as one of the race officials let us know the gun would go off in a few minutes.

Even though I felt much calmer on race day, my fear of downhills still bothered me. I have an irrational fear of downhills, and I was fearful of a hill in mile 1. I did one of my long runs on the course and had trouble with this hill. I had been thinking about this particular hill for weeks. As I went down the hill that I was so scared would ruin my race, I sang Amazing Grace in my head and successfully made it down the hill: “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, My God, my savior has ransomed me.” My hours of worrying about this downhill went away as I sang these words and the rest of the song in my head.

Other than the dreaded downhill, I don’t remember running most of race. Nothing crazy happened to make me forget the race. I just ran along with the pack and my teammates. I relaxed and tried not to think. I felt pretty good until about mile 23. I felt like I was on a tempo run. At other parts of the race, I felt a twinge of discomfort but it usually lasted only a few minutes. For example, I had a stomach cramp in the beginning and my legs felt heavy for a 2-3 min at a few parts, but mostly I felt amazing until mile 23.

At mile 23 I started focusing on getting to the next mile and stopped counting miles. I ran with one of my teammates and together we made it to the finish line. My official time was 2:44:57. After I crossed the line, it took a few minutes for it to set in that I had qualified. I quickly found Jonathan, friends, and teammates and the reality set in—I qualified for the Olympic Trials. I was (and am) beyond excited.

As I look back on the race, I am reminded of three main things. First, I need to live in the present while also aiming for future goals. I need to realize I accomplished a major running goal, and let myself celebrate that before getting lost in the next goal. I still have many more running goals to accomplish and have my sights set high, but I plan to work on each of those goals one at a time.

Secondly, I do not want my fear of failure to stop me. Anytime I put myself out there to work toward a lofty goal, failure is a possible outcome, but I would rather try and fail, than never try. No matter what types you goals you have in life, go for them. Someday, when I look back on life, I want to know that I went after goals I was passionate about in life. I have a number of running goals I want to accomplish. Many obstacles have stopped me from working toward these goals in the past. Currently I am focused, healthy, and ready to work toward these running goals that are so important to me. I want to know I put my all into accomplishing these running goals, which is something I will never regret. Lastly, I could not run the way I do without the support I have from so many people around me. I am excited about what’s next and thankful to have the support of so many people as I work toward my goals.

It's the little things that count

To my lovely readers: I am back with a new blog entry in record time. Flying to the East Coast a few times in the last few weeks defiantly allowed me more time to blog. 5+hours on a plane is plenty of time to read, write, and watch a movie. As always, thank you for reading.

This week I have been thinking about the importance of all the little things I need to do to improve my running. I often get lost in the day to day of life and forget to do the little things. Three key events reminded me that I need to take care of myself. First, last week at the church the sermon was on rest. I had just returned from a few days in Tahoe and felt extremely rested. The sermon reminded me that rest is a biblical concept and something we all need. Secondly, I was reminded that I need to sleep more. If I want to be an elite athlete I have to think like one, and elite runners get their sleep. Thirdly, I was able to contrast the difference between feeling rested in Tahoe and feeling exhausted at home the following week.

Basically, if I want to run better, taking care of myself will play a role in my training. Many times I think of these things as just taking up time in my day and fail to recognize the importance of the little things, but these little things turn into something big when all done together.

I have picked out a few ways I plan to take care of myself….

1. Sleep

I plan to sleep more. Starting with last night, I started keeping a sleep log. Included in my sleep log is the number of hours I have slept, how I felt, and reasons for not getting enough sleep if I fall below my 8-½ hour mark.

My sleep has been up and down the past few months. Sometimes I sleep 6-7 hours and then head out for a workout thinking that my lack sleep will not affect my performance. At times I am able to churn through the workout just fine, but my lack of sleep eventually catches up to me. On my recovery run on Wednesday of last week, I was so tired I could barely function. Wednesday was a recovery day so I could run slowly, but my lack of sleep made this run so much more painful. My legs felt fine, but my body was tired. Luckily, one of my friends and sweet Impala teammates joined me and helped me forget that my body just wanted to sleep. I used to be great about going to sleep early, and I plan to start going back to my early bedtimes. So, if I call any of you when I should be asleep, please remind me to go to sleep.

2. Shoes

I have to be diligent about changing my shoes. I must shamefully admit that my last pair of shoes had about 1,500 miles on them. This cannot happen if I want to run well. After 500 miles, my shoes need to be retired to my rainy day shoes and my rainy day shoes need to hit the recycling bend.

3. Stretching, Massage, and Ploys

I tend to be one of those people who likes to stretch at awkward times. I am that woman stretching in the airport, on the curb as I wait for the bus, or in other public places. A few months ago I read in a magazine that stretching in public places is one of the most embarrassing things runners do. To all those I embarrass, please accept my apologizes in advance. I do promise not to stretch at any formal occasions. All jokes aside, stretching is so important and so easy.

I have found that the combo of a baseball, foam roller, and stick (yes, that’s the name of the tool) makes for a great combination of tools.

I have also started doing ploys and I am hoping the strength will help me. The other day I was doing my ploys in golden gate park and the group of middle school tourists making fun of me was not the highlight of my day, but I endured on anyway. ☺

4. Eating healthy food

In Tahoe, one of the women who was up there cooked very yummy food every night. I felt so much better eating freshly prepared food, eating more fruits and vegetables, and cutting down on some of the quick food options I pick up from time to time. I do tend to eat fairly healthy but many times I do not have time to cook and have to pick up something on the go. Nothing beats a home cooked meal.

5. Spending time with God

As a Christian I need to keep my focus on God. I often enjoy some quality time with God when I am on a run by myself. Looking at God’s beautiful creation often reminds me of the power of God. Spending time reading my Bible is also an important aspect of my spiritual life. I know that I cannot earn God’s favor, for I am saved by grace, but if I want to live a life that is glorifying to God, I need to constantly be reminded of God’s character and will for my life. This past week I have been reading Ryan Hall’s book entitled Running with Joy. This book has been a huge reminder to me that I need to find my identity in Christ and not in my performance. I highly recommend this book. Even if you are not Christian, I think you will enjoy this book.

For my readers who are not runners, I hope you too will realize the importance of taking care of yourself in whatever you do. I know some of you overwork or over do it another sport. I also know that many of you are much better at taking care of yourself than me. I know it can take awhile to change my habits, and I do not expect to change overnight. However, I can start making changes each and every day. I know that I have felt so much better during the seasons of my life when I do take care of myself. Little changes of little things, add up to big things. I always appreciate advice on how others accomplish these little things, so bring on your comments.

Marin Memorial Day 10K

This is from a race in May, but am just getting a chance to post this blog entry.

On Memorial Day, I ran the Marin Memorial Day 10K. I had not been feeling great in the week prior to the race and had not run a 10K in about 4 years, so I was hesitant to run the race. Also, I did not know if I was prepared to run a race in CA. I felt semi-settled, but was still very new to San Francisco. I decided to run the race the night before but was open to bailing if I felt bad that morning.

When I got to race, I felt like everyone had a team except for me. (I have since joined a wonderful track club.) I warmed up solo and headed for the start line with time to do strides before the race. I tried to ease my way near the front of the start, and tried to squeeze in between the teams. I knew the race would go out fast so I wanted to be near the front, but not in the front. After the gun went off, I could not move for a few seconds because there were so many people, but soon, I was off, and my first race in CA has started.

I tried not to go out too fast, I knew it would be easy to get caught up in a pace that was too fast for my fitness level. I hit the first mile in 5:40ish. I was happy with that pace. I do not remember my 2 mile split. My third mile split was 17:35 ish. I do not remember the rest of my split, but I do not remember my form breaking down with two miles to go. I also feel apart mentally. I started to think that the other runners were faster, and at that point I feel apart mentally and physically. Many times I start thinking about how much others have accomplished in the running world and lose focus on running my own race.

I am not sure what my splits were for the last two miles but I know they were significantly slower than my other miles. I finished in 36:35, which put me at an average mile pace of 5:53/mile. I felt like the race went okay, but not great, however I guess it went as well as could be expected since I feeling poorly the week prior. A big part of my running is mental and this is an area I need to work on along wit my fitness. I was glad to have completed my first CA race. Hopefully I will have many more CA races to come.

Reflecting on our time in Durham

Yesterday we officially said goodbye to Durham. I said goodbye to many before I made the drive to San Francisco a few weeks prior, but at that point, I knew I would still be back one more time for graduation. My first goodbye was tearful. My second was not as emotional but I felt the weight of leaving Durham. Saying goodbye the first time and the second time was hard. Durham was good to us.

We had wonderful friends in Durham—friends that we will keep for life. Many of our friends were from Fuqua, students and partners. So many of the partners provided a listening ear many times and were just overall loyal friends.

We will also miss our church friends. Most of our church friends were in our bible study that met weekly. These friends helped me feel more connected to community in such a big church. They also provided me an immense amount of help with my move and never complained while they helped. They seemed joyful to be able to help.

Another group I will miss is my running friends. I found a running group about 6 months before I moved. I feel like I have known them for more than 6 months though. These friends kept me company on long runs, pushed me during my hard workouts, and provided encouragement for my running. The group was a great fit for me. Finding a running group that is a great fit can be challenging so I am always happy when I find such a group. This is another group that was especially hard to leave. Thank you Bull City Track Club. They reminded me of my Dallas running group I enjoyed so much.

Lastly, I loved getting to know my school friends that lived in the area and the folks at my second internship site, Blacknall Presbyterian Church.

We will miss Durham greatly. We are excited about our new life in San Francisco. As we get settled into SF, I am reminded what it is like to start over with finding a new community of friends. I am sure we will find a community of friends here, and am thankful that so many Fuqua folks are headed our way to start that community.

Thank you to all of our friends in Durham for a great two years. We miss you so much, come visit. Go Duke!

Third Time's the Charm: UNC meet 3,000m

I titled my race report "third time's the charm" because I registered for two other races for today that did not happen. (What are the statistical chances of that happening?) I signed up for the 5,000m in the Highpoint meet and the 5,000m in the UNC meet. I only planned to run one of them, and earlier in the week had decided on the Highpoint meet and paid for that one. However, I received a call from Highpoint mid week letting me know that the meet would be moved to Sunday night since rain was expected on Saturday. I was not happy that the race was moved to a completely different day. I had other plans on Sunday night and would not be able to race then. I then figured I would just run the 5,000m at the UNC meet, however, when I checked the revised schedule for the UNC meet, I noticed that the 5,000m had been removed from the schedule. I then learned that I was the only person signed up for the race so it was taken off the schedule. UNC offered I could switch to the 3,000m. I was nervous about switching to the 3,000m because I have not run a 3,000m in a little over 10 years and was concerned that I would not have the speed for that race. I do not consider myself a 3,000m runner. However, at the end of the day, I figured the 3,000m was my best option for a track race.

Race day: My race was scheduled for 8p. I decided to go up to UNC about 2p to find the track and paid my entry fee. I am directionally challenged and had trouble finding the track. When I did find it, I could not find parking, and it was pouring down rain. I finally found a spot to park and went to track only to find out they were on a weather delay. I asked the women who I checked in with for information on the delay but she did not have any information. I went back home. I came back a few hours later, the rain has stopped, and the meet was back in action. They skipped the break in the meet and my race started just a few minutes after 8p.

When I checked in for my race I was not on the list for the 3,000m so they added me on to bottom and gave me hip number 14. However, when I got to the starting line the man lining us up did have me on his list either so he decided that I could not be 14, and I had to be the last person, 18. I changed my hip numbers and went to the last lane. The man lining us up was not pleased that I was not on his sheet and I felt bad that I was causing his so much frustration.

Furthermore, since the meet was running behind, the meet officials decided to combine the men's and women's 3,000m. This means we had about 30 people starting at the same time. We were informed that the men would start on the waterfall start and we would start a little behind them. We probably started about 2 meters behind the men which is where we were told to start.

The meet officials finally got us lined up and the gun went off. I came through the first lap in about 76 seconds and the 800m at 2:43. I had no idea what I should be running since I am not used to the 3,000m, but I was excited that before I knew it we only had a mile to go. I wish I had looked at my mile split, but just did not think about it since this was such a fast race. I actually did not look at any of my splits for the laps after the second lap. I ran in the lead pack for the race. It was a tight pack and I just tried to maintain my position and not trip over someone feet. I finished 4th. My official time was 10:07 for the 3,000m. (I clocked myself at 10:05 so I guess I started my watch 2 seconds late.)I did not really have a time in mind that I wanted to run. It would have been fun to break 10 mins., but overall I am happy and I had fun running the race. I still do not consider myself a 3,000m runner though. The winning time was 10:04.

I ran two track meets and really enjoyed both. I'm bummed my mini track season is over. I had so much fun being back on the track.

Race Report from Duke Track Meet

This past Saturday I ran in a track meet at Duke. Here's my race report.

Race Report for Duke Invitational 5,000m

Prologue: We are in the process of moving. Typically I get fairly nervous a few days before a race, however, I was so consumed with moving details that I did not have a chance to get nervous until a few hours before. Also, when I get stressed I get a stomach ache and have trouble sleeping. I experienced both of these signs of stress the week before the race. My stomach aches during the week prior to the race coupled with getting stomach pain in my last race, made me wonder if I stomach would pose a problem during the race.

I did have a few good weeks of training since my last race and those weeks gave me some of my confidence back. Also, my legs felt rested from an easier week prior to the race.

Race:
I arrived at the meet in plenty of time to warm up. I picked up my hip numbers at 6:30p and my heat was set to go at 6:45p. When the man in charge of giving us our hip number called out my name he said, "Sarah Lee, number 16" then he looked at me and said "I love your cakes." I resisted the urge to say something sarcastic. Even since I got married and became Sarah Lee, I've heard many jokes about my name. None are original. After getting my hip numbers, I did some final stretching and strides before my race. I had forgotten how crowded it is down on the track which made it a little harder to do my strides.

I was in heat "B" of the 5,000m and it was a very full heat. I did not go out fast enough and got boxed in early. I had to run around the outer edge of the pack a few times to get a better position which I'm sure wasted some energy. I had trouble moving around too much in the first few laps, but after those laps, the pack broke up a little. I stayed with the lead pack for the first mile. I came through the first mile in 5:40. After the first mile, one women took off. She ended up getting first. I thought about going with her but she seemed to be pushing a fairly hard pace. She did not hold that pace the entire way, but I did not know what she was going to do and we still had 8 and 1/2 laps left. I stayed with the pack behind the leader. I wish I could remember more of my splits but I cannot. For the rest of the race, I just sat back with a few other women and then kicked with a lap to go. I found it very helpful to have others do the pacing and I could just focus on watching the lap count drop.

I finished in 17:53. I was pleased to run under 18 min. and would love to run a little faster this Saturday to finish out my North Carolina experience on an especially good note.

On a personal note, I am happy to be getting faster. Running healthy is a great feeling. At different points within the past 10 years, I have not been able to train well (or at all) for a variety of reasons. It feels great to be back at a point in life where I can work toward accomplishing the goals I was unable to strive for at other times in life. I'm thankful and now running well had deeper significance for me. I still have not made the exact times I want to reach, but I feel like I am on the correct path to get there.

Two more North Carolina races to go: a track meet this Saturday and the blue cup on 4/20 (a friendly competition between the MBA students at Duke and UNC. My husband is at Duke and spouses get to participate so I plan on running in that race.)

Thanks for reading my race report! :)

Running Through the Forest Thinking About "Jesus Messiah"

Recently I have been listing to the song “Jesus Messiah” by Chris Tomlin quite frequently. This is a great song for a running mix or just to listen to at home. The line I have had in my head from this song is, “Jesus Messiah, Lord of all.” The song talks about Jesus as a great redeemer and the Lord over the entire world.

The words of this song have really spoken to me lately, and especially this morning on my run. As I have been studying about Jesus and the time before Jesus came, I can so clearly see that the Old Testament sets the way for a perfect messiah. In the Old Testament, the Israelites wanted a king, and had many kings, but none of them could rule perfectly. Even the kings, who were the good kings, were still far from perfect.

David was a great king, but also had a great sin. In 2 Samuel 2:11 David committed his great sin by sleeping with Bathsheba, who was a married women. Then David compounded his sinful acts by having Bathsheba’s husband killed when David put him in the front of the battle lines. David did not repent of his sin until God sent Nathan, a prophet, to convict David of his sin. David then repented of his sin and the Lord forgave him. Even though David sinned, the Lord still favored David and appreciated that David truly had a heart for God. David was so far from perfect, yet he recognized his need for the true God, Yahweh. This is so encouraging to me because I sin everyday and as I repent of my sins, I am thankful God is concerned with the state of my heart and not that I can perfectly obey.

Flipping back to the Jewish people wanting a Messiah, many people back in Jesus day had a different idea of what type of savior God would send, however, many agreed that they believed that true king and messiah would come from the line of David. Christ did come from the Davidic line. God made a covenant with David and part of that covenant said he would, “enable his son to build a temple.” God did not mean David’s direct son but meant someone from the Davidic line. Someone from the Davidic line did rebuilt the temple in the Old Testament, but David’s descendents still realized the need for a perfect king. Christ fulfilled this by being the perfect king. Christ was not the king many expected. Many expected a more powerful king, but looking back we can see how perfectly Christ fulfills the promises from the Old Testament. The Old Testament is so filled with messianic prophecies that pave the way for Jesus.

Today I was thinking through all the people in the Old Testament had to go through as they were taken from their land, lived in exile, and then rebuilt the temple. The people deserved this as they constantly sinned but God so graciously provided for his people in the Old Testament just as he provides for us today. The words of his song about Christ humbling himself for his people and coming as a redeemer give me such a such a deep appreciation for what Christ did on behalf. I need reminders of just how perfectly history is planned out, and Jesus amazing love for God’s people. So many years and so much history all build up to the plan God has to redeem the world. The final stage of redemption for the world has not come yet, but our savior has come, and will come again.

As I ran through the Duke forest this morning and listened to this song many times, all of this history was so fresh in my mind. This song encompassed so much of this history and my life that I was thinking about. My body was tired, my legs felt like dead weight, I was already getting nervous for a race next week, and I had was thinking about the studying I needed to do, but this song gave me a sense of peace and thankfulness that Jesus sent this perfect messiah who is so real in my life. I still wish I faster and smarter and I’m still nervous about my race and stressed about my test, but comforted by the powerful love of Christ, my Lord and savior. Becoming a Christian did not automatically take away my fears, but it gave me an ultimate hope to live for today and everyday.

Run for the Oaks 5K

This weekend I ran the Run for the Oaks 5K in Raleigh. I'll try to remember as much as possible for this report, but now that it is Wednesday night, last Saturday seems like a long time ago.

The weather was great on Saturday. The temperature was in the 40's at race time, although it quickly warmed up after. The race was in downtown Raleigh. The course started in Moore Square, and mainly seemed to go out and loop back around to end at the same place we started.

My legs felt heavy from the beginning after a long week of running, but as the gun went off I got a burst of energy. I ran the first mile in the mid 5:40's...If I remember correctly the split was 5:44. After mile one I felt great and had a spirt of energy. I hit the second mile in the 11:40's. I think it was about 11:45. However, after I hit the two mile mark, and had 1.1 miles to go, I started to feel fatigued. Also, another woman had just caught up to me and passed me at this point. When she first passed me, I thought, oh well she beat me, she looks strong, and I'm feeling beat. However, then my ubber competitive nature kicked in and I picked it up. We went back and forth for awhile, and then with about 800 meters or less to go, I sprinted it in. I've never really had a kick, but on Saturday, I actually surprised myself and had a kick. My finishing chip time was 18:20.

As a prize I won a $50 gift card to a running store in Raleigh, which was great because I needed a new water bottle for my Sunday run. Overall the race was well run and enjoyable. I'd recommend it.

Here is a link to the results. http://bit.ly/h9kH4J

race report

Running has always been an important part of my life, and lately I've started training harder again. For a few years I got in a running slump where I just ran for fun and did not train hard. I missed the competitive aspect of running through, and want to make another strong push at running fast.

When I run fast, I feel so alive, and when I have my easy days running through the forest, I have some great conversations with God. I also enjoy running with others, I LOVE the social aspect of running. For those of you who know me best, you probably know that running is an important aspect of my life. With that said I ran a 5K a few weeks ago. My race report is below. I'll probably be blogging about running more in the future. I LOVE TO RUN!

Race Report for the KD Shamrock 5K (or rather 3.17 mile run)

I signed up for this race to test my fitness level. Going in I knew that my fitness level was not where it used to be, but I wanted to see where I actually stood. I was quite nervous going into this race. I could feel my stomach turning as I drove the short distance from Durham to Chapel Hill. I had not run a race since last April, and wondered if I would remember how to pace myself for a 5K. I arrived at the race early so that I could secure a prime parking spot. The race started at the Kappa Delta house at UNC. Around 7:40a the KD's liven up the environment by blaring festive music such as Black Eyed Pea Songs.

At about 8a, I started my warm up, and tried to just relax as I listening to my running mix on my ipod. I warmed up away from the race action to try to stay calm and focused. I stretched for awhile because I could not seem to get my right leg to loosen up as I warmed up. About 8:40a I started to notice they still had not drawn the starting line. Finally at 8:55a, they drew the starting line and I realized the race was not going to start at 9a as planned. The start was odd. Everyone was standing behind the starting line for awhile and eventually they shot the gun. No warning that I heard or announcement from a race director. I am not sure what time the race actually started.

I felt good as I started running. I bought new shoes this week and they made me feel fast. The course had plenty of spirited sorority girls directing runners through the course. They kept the course fairly clear, although in the last half mile they did not stop people walking across campus and I almost had a collision with an unassuming UNC student who looked like she was trying to go study. The last part of the course was a little windy which made it hard to kick, although I did try to give a final push in last small stretch. I came across the first mile in 5:50, the two mile mark at 11:48, and finished at 18:56. I know the race was longer than a 5K, it was listed at 3.175 on the course map but I was skeptical of that measurement. I was disappointed with my finish time, but now I have a renewed vigor to train hard. However, I can say I got used to being in a race environment again and got a good workout.

The food at the end of the race was okay. They had bagels w/ cream cheese, nutri grain bars, pop tarts, and brownies. The nice girl handing out the brownies explained that they were for carb reloading. The KD's may not have run the race perfectly, but they get an A+ for hospitality. They personally (and cheerfully) handed out bagels, brownies, and water while runners waited in the food line. They also had child care and let the kids build a fort. I do not have children, but one of my friends put her child in the childcare and she said it was great.

I was the first overall female and the prize bag was pretty good. This improved my mood after not running a great time. My prize bag included $10 to Jason's Deli, A free meal at Panera, Sunday brunch for two at Carolina Crossroads (in the Carolina Inn), $30 to Back Alley Bikes, and $60 to place called WOW. I'm still trying to figure out what the last one is. In addition to the gift cards, the bag included a headband and a very large pair of gold loops, neither are my style but I'm sure I can find a friend who will use the items.

Thanks for reading my race report. :) Happy running to everyone.