This is from a race in May, but am just getting a chance to post this blog entry.
On Memorial Day, I ran the Marin Memorial Day 10K. I had not been feeling great in the week prior to the race and had not run a 10K in about 4 years, so I was hesitant to run the race. Also, I did not know if I was prepared to run a race in CA. I felt semi-settled, but was still very new to San Francisco. I decided to run the race the night before but was open to bailing if I felt bad that morning.
When I got to race, I felt like everyone had a team except for me. (I have since joined a wonderful track club.) I warmed up solo and headed for the start line with time to do strides before the race. I tried to ease my way near the front of the start, and tried to squeeze in between the teams. I knew the race would go out fast so I wanted to be near the front, but not in the front. After the gun went off, I could not move for a few seconds because there were so many people, but soon, I was off, and my first race in CA has started.
I tried not to go out too fast, I knew it would be easy to get caught up in a pace that was too fast for my fitness level. I hit the first mile in 5:40ish. I was happy with that pace. I do not remember my 2 mile split. My third mile split was 17:35 ish. I do not remember the rest of my split, but I do not remember my form breaking down with two miles to go. I also feel apart mentally. I started to think that the other runners were faster, and at that point I feel apart mentally and physically. Many times I start thinking about how much others have accomplished in the running world and lose focus on running my own race.
I am not sure what my splits were for the last two miles but I know they were significantly slower than my other miles. I finished in 36:35, which put me at an average mile pace of 5:53/mile. I felt like the race went okay, but not great, however I guess it went as well as could be expected since I feeling poorly the week prior. A big part of my running is mental and this is an area I need to work on along wit my fitness. I was glad to have completed my first CA race. Hopefully I will have many more CA races to come.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Counseling is an Unattainable Service for the Large Majority of the US
Warning: I am about to step onto my soapbox.
Many of you know that the price of mental health services is a topic near and dear to my heart. Counseling is not affordable for a large portion of the people in the United States. I am not advocating that the government take over the health care system, but I am advocating that the mental health professionals aim to make at least some of their time affordable. As someone who is not yet licensed and is green in the profession, I am sure many more seasoned counselors have thoughts on this issue.
However, even in my short time in this profession, I have seen how people fall through the cracks. If people are materially poor then the government will pay for the person’s mental health services. If people have good insurance and a billable diagnosis, then the client can just pay for his or her co-pay, but what about the rest of the population? What about marriage counseling where neither person has a billable diagnosis? What about grad students? What about the working class? What about middle class people with children and every day bills? The list could go on, but you can understand the people who fall through the cracks. We have so many people trained in the mental health profession, yet; still so many people consider mental health services out of reach.
I do believe that mental health professionals should be able to make a living and I know that this is a working profession and not a volunteer job. Mental health professionals have bills just as the rest of the world does, however, we end up with these skills to help people, yet, and so many cannot use our skills because of money. This is a huge problem.
At the end of the day, I am advocating for a mix of clients. If all mental health professionals took just a few clients at a very low fee ($20-$40/hr), this would make a huge dent in the problem. Are mental professionals all so busy and strapped for cash that taking on one or two clients at a reduced fee would break the bank? Doubtful. We cannot save the world, but we can use our helping profession to help people who need help.
Many of you know that the price of mental health services is a topic near and dear to my heart. Counseling is not affordable for a large portion of the people in the United States. I am not advocating that the government take over the health care system, but I am advocating that the mental health professionals aim to make at least some of their time affordable. As someone who is not yet licensed and is green in the profession, I am sure many more seasoned counselors have thoughts on this issue.
However, even in my short time in this profession, I have seen how people fall through the cracks. If people are materially poor then the government will pay for the person’s mental health services. If people have good insurance and a billable diagnosis, then the client can just pay for his or her co-pay, but what about the rest of the population? What about marriage counseling where neither person has a billable diagnosis? What about grad students? What about the working class? What about middle class people with children and every day bills? The list could go on, but you can understand the people who fall through the cracks. We have so many people trained in the mental health profession, yet; still so many people consider mental health services out of reach.
I do believe that mental health professionals should be able to make a living and I know that this is a working profession and not a volunteer job. Mental health professionals have bills just as the rest of the world does, however, we end up with these skills to help people, yet, and so many cannot use our skills because of money. This is a huge problem.
At the end of the day, I am advocating for a mix of clients. If all mental health professionals took just a few clients at a very low fee ($20-$40/hr), this would make a huge dent in the problem. Are mental professionals all so busy and strapped for cash that taking on one or two clients at a reduced fee would break the bank? Doubtful. We cannot save the world, but we can use our helping profession to help people who need help.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Reflecting on our time in Durham
Yesterday we officially said goodbye to Durham. I said goodbye to many before I made the drive to San Francisco a few weeks prior, but at that point, I knew I would still be back one more time for graduation. My first goodbye was tearful. My second was not as emotional but I felt the weight of leaving Durham. Saying goodbye the first time and the second time was hard. Durham was good to us.
We had wonderful friends in Durham—friends that we will keep for life. Many of our friends were from Fuqua, students and partners. So many of the partners provided a listening ear many times and were just overall loyal friends.
We will also miss our church friends. Most of our church friends were in our bible study that met weekly. These friends helped me feel more connected to community in such a big church. They also provided me an immense amount of help with my move and never complained while they helped. They seemed joyful to be able to help.
Another group I will miss is my running friends. I found a running group about 6 months before I moved. I feel like I have known them for more than 6 months though. These friends kept me company on long runs, pushed me during my hard workouts, and provided encouragement for my running. The group was a great fit for me. Finding a running group that is a great fit can be challenging so I am always happy when I find such a group. This is another group that was especially hard to leave. Thank you Bull City Track Club. They reminded me of my Dallas running group I enjoyed so much.
Lastly, I loved getting to know my school friends that lived in the area and the folks at my second internship site, Blacknall Presbyterian Church.
We will miss Durham greatly. We are excited about our new life in San Francisco. As we get settled into SF, I am reminded what it is like to start over with finding a new community of friends. I am sure we will find a community of friends here, and am thankful that so many Fuqua folks are headed our way to start that community.
Thank you to all of our friends in Durham for a great two years. We miss you so much, come visit. Go Duke!
We had wonderful friends in Durham—friends that we will keep for life. Many of our friends were from Fuqua, students and partners. So many of the partners provided a listening ear many times and were just overall loyal friends.
We will also miss our church friends. Most of our church friends were in our bible study that met weekly. These friends helped me feel more connected to community in such a big church. They also provided me an immense amount of help with my move and never complained while they helped. They seemed joyful to be able to help.
Another group I will miss is my running friends. I found a running group about 6 months before I moved. I feel like I have known them for more than 6 months though. These friends kept me company on long runs, pushed me during my hard workouts, and provided encouragement for my running. The group was a great fit for me. Finding a running group that is a great fit can be challenging so I am always happy when I find such a group. This is another group that was especially hard to leave. Thank you Bull City Track Club. They reminded me of my Dallas running group I enjoyed so much.
Lastly, I loved getting to know my school friends that lived in the area and the folks at my second internship site, Blacknall Presbyterian Church.
We will miss Durham greatly. We are excited about our new life in San Francisco. As we get settled into SF, I am reminded what it is like to start over with finding a new community of friends. I am sure we will find a community of friends here, and am thankful that so many Fuqua folks are headed our way to start that community.
Thank you to all of our friends in Durham for a great two years. We miss you so much, come visit. Go Duke!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Third Time's the Charm: UNC meet 3,000m
I titled my race report "third time's the charm" because I registered for two other races for today that did not happen. (What are the statistical chances of that happening?) I signed up for the 5,000m in the Highpoint meet and the 5,000m in the UNC meet. I only planned to run one of them, and earlier in the week had decided on the Highpoint meet and paid for that one. However, I received a call from Highpoint mid week letting me know that the meet would be moved to Sunday night since rain was expected on Saturday. I was not happy that the race was moved to a completely different day. I had other plans on Sunday night and would not be able to race then. I then figured I would just run the 5,000m at the UNC meet, however, when I checked the revised schedule for the UNC meet, I noticed that the 5,000m had been removed from the schedule. I then learned that I was the only person signed up for the race so it was taken off the schedule. UNC offered I could switch to the 3,000m. I was nervous about switching to the 3,000m because I have not run a 3,000m in a little over 10 years and was concerned that I would not have the speed for that race. I do not consider myself a 3,000m runner. However, at the end of the day, I figured the 3,000m was my best option for a track race.
Race day: My race was scheduled for 8p. I decided to go up to UNC about 2p to find the track and paid my entry fee. I am directionally challenged and had trouble finding the track. When I did find it, I could not find parking, and it was pouring down rain. I finally found a spot to park and went to track only to find out they were on a weather delay. I asked the women who I checked in with for information on the delay but she did not have any information. I went back home. I came back a few hours later, the rain has stopped, and the meet was back in action. They skipped the break in the meet and my race started just a few minutes after 8p.
When I checked in for my race I was not on the list for the 3,000m so they added me on to bottom and gave me hip number 14. However, when I got to the starting line the man lining us up did have me on his list either so he decided that I could not be 14, and I had to be the last person, 18. I changed my hip numbers and went to the last lane. The man lining us up was not pleased that I was not on his sheet and I felt bad that I was causing his so much frustration.
Furthermore, since the meet was running behind, the meet officials decided to combine the men's and women's 3,000m. This means we had about 30 people starting at the same time. We were informed that the men would start on the waterfall start and we would start a little behind them. We probably started about 2 meters behind the men which is where we were told to start.
The meet officials finally got us lined up and the gun went off. I came through the first lap in about 76 seconds and the 800m at 2:43. I had no idea what I should be running since I am not used to the 3,000m, but I was excited that before I knew it we only had a mile to go. I wish I had looked at my mile split, but just did not think about it since this was such a fast race. I actually did not look at any of my splits for the laps after the second lap. I ran in the lead pack for the race. It was a tight pack and I just tried to maintain my position and not trip over someone feet. I finished 4th. My official time was 10:07 for the 3,000m. (I clocked myself at 10:05 so I guess I started my watch 2 seconds late.)I did not really have a time in mind that I wanted to run. It would have been fun to break 10 mins., but overall I am happy and I had fun running the race. I still do not consider myself a 3,000m runner though. The winning time was 10:04.
I ran two track meets and really enjoyed both. I'm bummed my mini track season is over. I had so much fun being back on the track.
Race day: My race was scheduled for 8p. I decided to go up to UNC about 2p to find the track and paid my entry fee. I am directionally challenged and had trouble finding the track. When I did find it, I could not find parking, and it was pouring down rain. I finally found a spot to park and went to track only to find out they were on a weather delay. I asked the women who I checked in with for information on the delay but she did not have any information. I went back home. I came back a few hours later, the rain has stopped, and the meet was back in action. They skipped the break in the meet and my race started just a few minutes after 8p.
When I checked in for my race I was not on the list for the 3,000m so they added me on to bottom and gave me hip number 14. However, when I got to the starting line the man lining us up did have me on his list either so he decided that I could not be 14, and I had to be the last person, 18. I changed my hip numbers and went to the last lane. The man lining us up was not pleased that I was not on his sheet and I felt bad that I was causing his so much frustration.
Furthermore, since the meet was running behind, the meet officials decided to combine the men's and women's 3,000m. This means we had about 30 people starting at the same time. We were informed that the men would start on the waterfall start and we would start a little behind them. We probably started about 2 meters behind the men which is where we were told to start.
The meet officials finally got us lined up and the gun went off. I came through the first lap in about 76 seconds and the 800m at 2:43. I had no idea what I should be running since I am not used to the 3,000m, but I was excited that before I knew it we only had a mile to go. I wish I had looked at my mile split, but just did not think about it since this was such a fast race. I actually did not look at any of my splits for the laps after the second lap. I ran in the lead pack for the race. It was a tight pack and I just tried to maintain my position and not trip over someone feet. I finished 4th. My official time was 10:07 for the 3,000m. (I clocked myself at 10:05 so I guess I started my watch 2 seconds late.)I did not really have a time in mind that I wanted to run. It would have been fun to break 10 mins., but overall I am happy and I had fun running the race. I still do not consider myself a 3,000m runner though. The winning time was 10:04.
I ran two track meets and really enjoyed both. I'm bummed my mini track season is over. I had so much fun being back on the track.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Emotionally Tied to My Jeans
For all the women reading this post, you know how difficult it is to find the perfect fitting jeans. It seems so unfair that men can walk into a store and come out with a pair of jeans a few minutes later. I’ve always had a hard time finding jeans because I’m not cut like the “average” person. (I realize that average is a relative term.) My Mom has always said I’m shaped like a box, making it a little better by saying I’m a cute box. Jonathan seems to be in agreement about my box shape. All this to say, in the past, I have spent hours in the store trying on jeans. Sometimes I still walked of the store not completely satisfied with my purchase.
In college I found a style of Gap jeans that I felt like fit well, and I kept buying this same style of jeans. I’ve gotten rid of most of these Gap jeans because they are quite tattered and do not fit that well. I’m not sure that they ever fit that well, they were probably always a little too baggy but I went through a phase where I did not want to wear anything too tight. I have one pair of these jeans left. As I have been getting rid of old clothes in preparation for our move, I just cannot seem to part with these jeans. I remember how hard it was to find these jeans and that I actually felt comfortable in them. As silly as it may seem, for now, I think I’ll hang on to these jeans. They remind me of so many memories and they do make for a comfortable pair of jeans to lay around in on a lazy day.
In college I found a style of Gap jeans that I felt like fit well, and I kept buying this same style of jeans. I’ve gotten rid of most of these Gap jeans because they are quite tattered and do not fit that well. I’m not sure that they ever fit that well, they were probably always a little too baggy but I went through a phase where I did not want to wear anything too tight. I have one pair of these jeans left. As I have been getting rid of old clothes in preparation for our move, I just cannot seem to part with these jeans. I remember how hard it was to find these jeans and that I actually felt comfortable in them. As silly as it may seem, for now, I think I’ll hang on to these jeans. They remind me of so many memories and they do make for a comfortable pair of jeans to lay around in on a lazy day.
Race Report from Duke Track Meet
This past Saturday I ran in a track meet at Duke. Here's my race report.
Race Report for Duke Invitational 5,000m
Prologue: We are in the process of moving. Typically I get fairly nervous a few days before a race, however, I was so consumed with moving details that I did not have a chance to get nervous until a few hours before. Also, when I get stressed I get a stomach ache and have trouble sleeping. I experienced both of these signs of stress the week before the race. My stomach aches during the week prior to the race coupled with getting stomach pain in my last race, made me wonder if I stomach would pose a problem during the race.
I did have a few good weeks of training since my last race and those weeks gave me some of my confidence back. Also, my legs felt rested from an easier week prior to the race.
Race:
I arrived at the meet in plenty of time to warm up. I picked up my hip numbers at 6:30p and my heat was set to go at 6:45p. When the man in charge of giving us our hip number called out my name he said, "Sarah Lee, number 16" then he looked at me and said "I love your cakes." I resisted the urge to say something sarcastic. Even since I got married and became Sarah Lee, I've heard many jokes about my name. None are original. After getting my hip numbers, I did some final stretching and strides before my race. I had forgotten how crowded it is down on the track which made it a little harder to do my strides.
I was in heat "B" of the 5,000m and it was a very full heat. I did not go out fast enough and got boxed in early. I had to run around the outer edge of the pack a few times to get a better position which I'm sure wasted some energy. I had trouble moving around too much in the first few laps, but after those laps, the pack broke up a little. I stayed with the lead pack for the first mile. I came through the first mile in 5:40. After the first mile, one women took off. She ended up getting first. I thought about going with her but she seemed to be pushing a fairly hard pace. She did not hold that pace the entire way, but I did not know what she was going to do and we still had 8 and 1/2 laps left. I stayed with the pack behind the leader. I wish I could remember more of my splits but I cannot. For the rest of the race, I just sat back with a few other women and then kicked with a lap to go. I found it very helpful to have others do the pacing and I could just focus on watching the lap count drop.
I finished in 17:53. I was pleased to run under 18 min. and would love to run a little faster this Saturday to finish out my North Carolina experience on an especially good note.
On a personal note, I am happy to be getting faster. Running healthy is a great feeling. At different points within the past 10 years, I have not been able to train well (or at all) for a variety of reasons. It feels great to be back at a point in life where I can work toward accomplishing the goals I was unable to strive for at other times in life. I'm thankful and now running well had deeper significance for me. I still have not made the exact times I want to reach, but I feel like I am on the correct path to get there.
Two more North Carolina races to go: a track meet this Saturday and the blue cup on 4/20 (a friendly competition between the MBA students at Duke and UNC. My husband is at Duke and spouses get to participate so I plan on running in that race.)
Thanks for reading my race report! :)
Race Report for Duke Invitational 5,000m
Prologue: We are in the process of moving. Typically I get fairly nervous a few days before a race, however, I was so consumed with moving details that I did not have a chance to get nervous until a few hours before. Also, when I get stressed I get a stomach ache and have trouble sleeping. I experienced both of these signs of stress the week before the race. My stomach aches during the week prior to the race coupled with getting stomach pain in my last race, made me wonder if I stomach would pose a problem during the race.
I did have a few good weeks of training since my last race and those weeks gave me some of my confidence back. Also, my legs felt rested from an easier week prior to the race.
Race:
I arrived at the meet in plenty of time to warm up. I picked up my hip numbers at 6:30p and my heat was set to go at 6:45p. When the man in charge of giving us our hip number called out my name he said, "Sarah Lee, number 16" then he looked at me and said "I love your cakes." I resisted the urge to say something sarcastic. Even since I got married and became Sarah Lee, I've heard many jokes about my name. None are original. After getting my hip numbers, I did some final stretching and strides before my race. I had forgotten how crowded it is down on the track which made it a little harder to do my strides.
I was in heat "B" of the 5,000m and it was a very full heat. I did not go out fast enough and got boxed in early. I had to run around the outer edge of the pack a few times to get a better position which I'm sure wasted some energy. I had trouble moving around too much in the first few laps, but after those laps, the pack broke up a little. I stayed with the lead pack for the first mile. I came through the first mile in 5:40. After the first mile, one women took off. She ended up getting first. I thought about going with her but she seemed to be pushing a fairly hard pace. She did not hold that pace the entire way, but I did not know what she was going to do and we still had 8 and 1/2 laps left. I stayed with the pack behind the leader. I wish I could remember more of my splits but I cannot. For the rest of the race, I just sat back with a few other women and then kicked with a lap to go. I found it very helpful to have others do the pacing and I could just focus on watching the lap count drop.
I finished in 17:53. I was pleased to run under 18 min. and would love to run a little faster this Saturday to finish out my North Carolina experience on an especially good note.
On a personal note, I am happy to be getting faster. Running healthy is a great feeling. At different points within the past 10 years, I have not been able to train well (or at all) for a variety of reasons. It feels great to be back at a point in life where I can work toward accomplishing the goals I was unable to strive for at other times in life. I'm thankful and now running well had deeper significance for me. I still have not made the exact times I want to reach, but I feel like I am on the correct path to get there.
Two more North Carolina races to go: a track meet this Saturday and the blue cup on 4/20 (a friendly competition between the MBA students at Duke and UNC. My husband is at Duke and spouses get to participate so I plan on running in that race.)
Thanks for reading my race report! :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Facing Failure
Today I failed. I would actually refer to my race as an epic fail. I ran an 8K (5 miles) and got a stomach pain at mile 3. This was not a "I feel like I am going the throw up because I ran too hard pain." No, this was just plain old stomach pain. I have only had similar pain while running one other time. I consider this race an epic failure because I trained hard and tapered for the race yet I did not run like it. The time I ran today, I could have run without so much training and especially without tapering. My legs are fine, they feel great. I never had a chance to push my legs because my stomach pain slowed me down too much. I worked hard to not perform. This all coupled with the fact that I can be hard on myself can be a bad combo.
My sweet husband was at the race to cheer me on and there to provide a big hug at the end. He was very supportive. Post race I was all tears, and just wanted to leave. I did my cool down on the treadmill at our hotel. Last time I got such bad stomach pain in a race there was beer after the race which helped to calm my tears. This time there was no beer so the tears continued. Days like this are not my proudest days, and I wish I handled them a little better. At this point I hope to never return to Kinston ever again. I know this is an extreme statement and I will probably change my mind at some point, but for now I'd like to forget the race happened. For this race I won't be writing a race report. All I would have to write are mile 1-3 were fine, mile 4-5 were no fun.
At first I did not plan to write anything about this race, but I later decided to blog about it because sometimes all I do is read about people having the perfect races, and that is not how the the life of most runners pans out. We all have bad races and today I had one and felt a strong sense of failure. I'll have to remember this race for a few weeks because I am not racing again until April 8th. Quite honestly, I'm a little afraid of failing then too. I could try to put an optimistic spin on this blog, but I'll pass on that. I know running a bad race is not the end of the world, but it still stinks and just does not feel very good. Hopefully next time I run a race I will have a happier race report to send out.
My sweet husband was at the race to cheer me on and there to provide a big hug at the end. He was very supportive. Post race I was all tears, and just wanted to leave. I did my cool down on the treadmill at our hotel. Last time I got such bad stomach pain in a race there was beer after the race which helped to calm my tears. This time there was no beer so the tears continued. Days like this are not my proudest days, and I wish I handled them a little better. At this point I hope to never return to Kinston ever again. I know this is an extreme statement and I will probably change my mind at some point, but for now I'd like to forget the race happened. For this race I won't be writing a race report. All I would have to write are mile 1-3 were fine, mile 4-5 were no fun.
At first I did not plan to write anything about this race, but I later decided to blog about it because sometimes all I do is read about people having the perfect races, and that is not how the the life of most runners pans out. We all have bad races and today I had one and felt a strong sense of failure. I'll have to remember this race for a few weeks because I am not racing again until April 8th. Quite honestly, I'm a little afraid of failing then too. I could try to put an optimistic spin on this blog, but I'll pass on that. I know running a bad race is not the end of the world, but it still stinks and just does not feel very good. Hopefully next time I run a race I will have a happier race report to send out.
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