Facing Failure

Today I failed. I would actually refer to my race as an epic fail. I ran an 8K (5 miles) and got a stomach pain at mile 3. This was not a "I feel like I am going the throw up because I ran too hard pain." No, this was just plain old stomach pain. I have only had similar pain while running one other time. I consider this race an epic failure because I trained hard and tapered for the race yet I did not run like it. The time I ran today, I could have run without so much training and especially without tapering. My legs are fine, they feel great. I never had a chance to push my legs because my stomach pain slowed me down too much. I worked hard to not perform. This all coupled with the fact that I can be hard on myself can be a bad combo.

My sweet husband was at the race to cheer me on and there to provide a big hug at the end. He was very supportive. Post race I was all tears, and just wanted to leave. I did my cool down on the treadmill at our hotel. Last time I got such bad stomach pain in a race there was beer after the race which helped to calm my tears. This time there was no beer so the tears continued. Days like this are not my proudest days, and I wish I handled them a little better. At this point I hope to never return to Kinston ever again. I know this is an extreme statement and I will probably change my mind at some point, but for now I'd like to forget the race happened. For this race I won't be writing a race report. All I would have to write are mile 1-3 were fine, mile 4-5 were no fun.

At first I did not plan to write anything about this race, but I later decided to blog about it because sometimes all I do is read about people having the perfect races, and that is not how the the life of most runners pans out. We all have bad races and today I had one and felt a strong sense of failure. I'll have to remember this race for a few weeks because I am not racing again until April 8th. Quite honestly, I'm a little afraid of failing then too. I could try to put an optimistic spin on this blog, but I'll pass on that. I know running a bad race is not the end of the world, but it still stinks and just does not feel very good. Hopefully next time I run a race I will have a happier race report to send out.