After having a few bad races in October, which left my running confidence in the dumps, I finally started racing better in November and December. In November I ran a huge PR in the 5K, and in December I ran my first marathon. I have always enjoyed racing well, but I realized that I appreciate good races even more when they come after a string of bad races.
California International Marathon (CIM) was my first marathon, and I had a great experience. I know that many people have a negative first marathon experiences, but having a good first marathon experience is very possible. I’m living proof.
Even though I believed in my training plan and had done the work I needed to do to prepare for the marathon, I started to panic a few weeks before CIM (and I really started to panic a few days before the race). I was ready and I knew deep down I was ready, but as I hit my taper weeks, and the starting line got closer, my emotions took over. My main fears centered on something happening in the race that was out of my control. For example, what if I have to go to the bathroom? Get a stomach ache? The list of fears seemed to grow in my head as the race neared closer. My fear of failure plagued me more each day. I started to worry, "What if I did all this training and do not run my goal time?" I was a mess the week prior to the race. Luckily my pre-race panic subsided the morning of the race. My nerves were still going in full force on race day, but my doubts that were distracting went away. I felt a sense of peace as I went into the race. I was very thankful for this sense of peace that came over me on race day.
CIM starts in Folsom, California and ends in Sacramento, California. Most people stay in Sacramento and take a bus provided by the marathon to starting line. (When I say most people take the bus, I mean thousands of people board a yellow school bus headed to the starting line). Our bus driver got lost getting to the starting line. Instead of panicking when I heard her say she was lost, I simply turned on my ipod and listened to Amazing Grace and Shout to the Lord a few times each. I took in the words of these songs as we rode the bus. We eventually arrived at the starting line. CIM had elite warming tents set up and I went and sat in one of them with a teammate until it was time to warm up.
The rest of the time until the warm up was non eventful. I warmed up, went to the bathroom, and headed to starting line as one of the race officials let us know the gun would go off in a few minutes.
Even though I felt much calmer on race day, my fear of downhills still bothered me. I have an irrational fear of downhills, and I was fearful of a hill in mile 1. I did one of my long runs on the course and had trouble with this hill. I had been thinking about this particular hill for weeks. As I went down the hill that I was so scared would ruin my race, I sang Amazing Grace in my head and successfully made it down the hill: “My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, My God, my savior has ransomed me.” My hours of worrying about this downhill went away as I sang these words and the rest of the song in my head.
Other than the dreaded downhill, I don’t remember running most of race. Nothing crazy happened to make me forget the race. I just ran along with the pack and my teammates. I relaxed and tried not to think. I felt pretty good until about mile 23. I felt like I was on a tempo run. At other parts of the race, I felt a twinge of discomfort but it usually lasted only a few minutes. For example, I had a stomach cramp in the beginning and my legs felt heavy for a 2-3 min at a few parts, but mostly I felt amazing until mile 23.
At mile 23 I started focusing on getting to the next mile and stopped counting miles. I ran with one of my teammates and together we made it to the finish line. My official time was 2:44:57. After I crossed the line, it took a few minutes for it to set in that I had qualified. I quickly found Jonathan, friends, and teammates and the reality set in—I qualified for the Olympic Trials. I was (and am) beyond excited.
As I look back on the race, I am reminded of three main things. First, I need to live in the present while also aiming for future goals. I need to realize I accomplished a major running goal, and let myself celebrate that before getting lost in the next goal. I still have many more running goals to accomplish and have my sights set high, but I plan to work on each of those goals one at a time.
Secondly, I do not want my fear of failure to stop me. Anytime I put myself out there to work toward a lofty goal, failure is a possible outcome, but I would rather try and fail, than never try. No matter what types you goals you have in life, go for them. Someday, when I look back on life, I want to know that I went after goals I was passionate about in life. I have a number of running goals I want to accomplish. Many obstacles have stopped me from working toward these goals in the past. Currently I am focused, healthy, and ready to work toward these running goals that are so important to me. I want to know I put my all into accomplishing these running goals, which is something I will never regret. Lastly, I could not run the way I do without the support I have from so many people around me. I am excited about what’s next and thankful to have the support of so many people as I work toward my goals.
